7 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Financially in College

College brings together students from many different financial backgrounds and lifestyles. When you’re still learning how to manage money, it can be easy to experience FOMO or feel pressure to keep up with peers. It’s important to remember that your financial decisions are unique to you and your current situation. Seven students from colleges and universities around the U.S. share how they are learning to overcome the pressure to compare finances as a student.

1. Know your own financial priorities

Your spending habits reflect what matters most to you and what you’re willing to spend your hard-earned money on. You may be more inclined to spend $50 on a concert or comedy show, whereas a friend would rather spend that money on a new hoodie. Neither choice is better than the other; you may just have different values. Marion, a student from Missouri State University, shares how knowing her financial priorities on her senior trip helped her avoid financial guilt:

“Senior trip made me realize how spending more money on a certain event or experience doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get more out of it. I consistently reminded myself that my values dictate how much I spend on something. For instance, I prioritized food, something I valued, while limiting spending elsewhere…I don’t need to spend like the people around me to experience the same joy, and I especially don’t need to have the same financial circumstances to feel that I belong.”

Marion V. Missouri State University

2. Unfollow accounts that affect your spending

Social media often shows the highlight reel of someone’s life without revealing the full picture. Someone might post about an expensive vacation or fancy restaurant without showing the credit card bills or financial struggles behind them. Comparing yourself to these posts can make you feel pressured to spend beyond your means. Esther, a student at UT Dallas, shares how unfollowing influencers with different spending abilities helped her avoid social comparison:

“Following social media influencers that are affecting your checking account is not healthy. It’s not realistic to think you can afford the same products they use daily when your incomes differ greatly. Acknowledging that fact is very important. I'm glad I clicked unfollow when I did. I saw how much money I was saving by not viewing their stories online. I wish I would have known then what I know now, it's ok to click unfollow. Even if you're able to afford spending a little money on yourself it's always wiser not to. You never know when an emergency will arise. It’s never too late to start saving, budgeting your money wisely, and clicking unfollow along the way.” 

Esther Z. University of Texas at Dallas

3. Practice gratitude for what you have

When you see the latest gadgets or trendiest clothes, it’s easy to only focus on what you don’t have. Having the newest or most expensive things doesn't guarantee happiness or success. To focus on what truly matters, you can learn to appreciate what you already have. University of California San Diego student Cohen shares how he learned about gratitude:

“I remember the day I saw the ad on my Instagram for the new DeMarini CF Zen…Then at practice, one of my best friends showed up with the Zen already in his hand. He didn’t even have to ask, his dad, the retired MLB player had ordered it as soon as it was dropped. I could not help but feel inadequate, left out, and sad. Dejectedly I went home and told my mom about the bat, that the other boys had it, and that I could never be as good as them without the proper tools…She said, some of the best baseball players in the MLB right now came out of some of the poorest circumstances, for example Mariano Rivera used a piece of cardboard for a glove! She said what makes a good ball player is commitment, attitude, and effort and those things are free. I felt bad then that I had not been grateful for what I did have and I committed to changing my attitude right then.”

Cohen P. University of California San Diego

4. Find free or cheap alternatives

There are plenty of free or low-cost activities to do with your friends in college. From free campus activities to affordable off-brand products, there are plenty of ways to participate without stretching your budget. Finding lower-cost options can help you enjoy the things you love while keeping your financial goals on track. Olivia shares how choosing free workout classes helped her save money and feel like she belonged:

“Pilates was going viral on the internet and was the new big thing to do. A lot of women at my school go to pilates gyms that cost hundreds of dollars a month to attend. That just isn’t realistic for the average student. When I was a resident assistant at my university I encouraged the girls to go to the free cycling and pilates classes offered by our university because they were so much fun and completely free for students! By going to the free classes instead of paying for a membership I still felt included, got other students involved, and had a blast."

Olivia E. University of Arkansas

5. Pause before you purchase

When you feel the urge to compare with your friends, it’s easy to buy things without considering whether they are truly worth the money. Before making a purchase, think about how often you’ll use it, whether it fits your budget, and if you’ll still be glad you bought it months from now. Colin, a student at Daemen University, shares how making a major purchase to fit in with his friends taught him the importance of thinking before spending:

“One of my latest and more expensive purchases was a four wheeler. I live in rural St. Lawrence County, where there’s lots of trails for four wheel riding. Many of my close friends have land to ride four wheelers on, so it was natural for them to ride the trails during the summer. We were all sitting in the cafeteria, planning our summer fun, and I realized I was the one who would be left out because I didn’t own one…and, well, I used that four wheeler exactly 3 times. Twice for trail rides, once to plow…yes just 3 times for all that money. The lesson from this came quickly when we had to sell it for a loss. This was definitely a pivotal financial lesson for me. "

Colin W. Daemen University

6. Learn how to say no

You don’t have to say yes to every invitation to maintain your friendships. If your friends typically suggest expensive outings, it can be difficult to speak up when those activities don’t fit your budget. Although talking about money with friends can feel awkward, being honest about your financial limits can help you avoid overspending and find affordable ways to spend time together. Maya, a student at Widener University, shares how learning to say no helped her manage her money and build stronger friendships:

“One of the most effective ways for me to overcome pressure was learning when to say 'no' to expensive outings. I learned that not all our trips around the city were necessary, and that we could start doing things on or near campus. I began to become more transparent with my friends that it’s not ideal for me to do expensive outings. I told them that it’s more important to build on our relationship than going on spending sprees, and they understood my perspective…Learning to manage my finances in college didn't just save my bank account—it taught me that independence isn't matching the lifestyle of others, but having the courage to build my own.”

Maya L. Widener University

7. Focus on your goals

When you’re tempted to spend money to keep up with others, it helps to remember what you’re working toward. Whether you’re saving for a car, planning a trip, or preparing for life after college, keeping your long-term goals in mind can make it easier to avoid unnecessary spending. Tristan, a student at UNC Charlotte, shares how his money aspirations help motivate him to support the future that he wants:

“I picked up a pencil and started sketching pictures of all my dreams: the UNC-Charlotte Niner’s logo, an airplane soaring overseas, a figure climbing rocky mountains, and a modest modern house. I pinned these pictures above my desk…They drive me to say no when my friends ask me to go mall shopping or eat out multiple times a day. After all, playing basketball at the park is free, and the food I make at home tastes far better than fast food anyway. American culture convinces us we’ll only be happy if we buy the new car, the new house, the latest toy. But now I understand that every irresponsible purchase delays my dreams a little longer; life is too short to wait."

Tristan R. University of North Carolina at Charlotte

Whether it’s social media, friends, family members, or other factors, feeling envious can be inevitable. Luckily, it’s how you respond to the comparison trap that matters. Focus on your own real-life priorities, goals, and budget, not the ideals that you see online. Remember, everyone’s financial situation is different, and you don’t have to spend like someone else to enjoy college or feel like you belong.